Accomplishment
It is a source of recurrent annoyance to me that I seldom accomplish.
Not that I don’t do anything; not even that I don’t do the things I actually manage to do fairly well. There is just a great gulf fixed between (my perception of) my capabilities, and what actually bears fruit.
As a general rule, I seldom pass judgment on people. (I didn’t say never … just seldom.) I do judge actions: some actions are good, beautiful, praiseworthy; other actions are bad, ugly, blameworthy. But I see in myself the potential for both things; I see this potential in others. I do judge ideas: some are true; others are not. Some are beneficial; some are harmful. Some are good; some less so. I’ve become aware that to evaluate ideas in this way does garner negative responses. People take it personally when thoughts they’ve found meaningful are not warmly received. I do the same – so it all works out.
But it is very rare that I attach value to a person as a person based on his actions or ideas. What makes people valuable is not those things. It is even rare that I can’t empathize with sometimes alien ideas and acts. Much of the time – not always – I can get where people are coming from.
But I have also seen and honored potentials. It takes no imagination to see what is as it is now and make little of it. It is a much better view to see what may be. I have been puzzled, frankly, by why people can’t or choose not to do this. That is not optimism – it is simply recognition.
Now, potentials do not give worth either. But I do admire the grand endeavor – the thing attempted because the attempt itself would be worthwhile. It can be anything for which we have a passion. In many ways, the things we love enough to dare define us. Often the attempting matters as much as the result.
Nonetheless, I am annoyed at my lack of accomplishment.
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